The article quickly dives into its narrative with these opening lines:

“Last year, Volodymyr Prysiazhniuk quarrelled with his father-in-law, Yuriy. Both men were drunk. ‘I’d had a litre of beer,’ Prysiazhniuk recalled.”

We wonder how many readers made it past this part. We didn’t. A Ukrainian convict getting so drunk after consuming a liter of bear that he killed his father-in-law is a non-starter. A liter of vodka—maybe. Two liters—more likely. But two bottles of beer? This is when you know The Guardian is full of it—liters and liters of it. But then again, everyone already knows that.